Kanina nakita ko yung dati kong pasyente. Natouched ako kasi I didn’t expect na maalala nia pako. Discharged na sha, for follow up nalang. Sa dami b naman ng naghandle sknya before, akalain mo un maalala nia pako? Ang saya sa feeling. <3

Ako naman, nag health teaching. Those things just came out from my mouth. I mean, kahit I’m on break, feel ko talagang nurse ako at ngcconsult sha sakin. Ang masaya dun, yung nagpaalam na sha at nung bago sha umalis sabi nia, “Sige nurse. Salamat talaga ha!” <3

My professors are right. Nursing is really a caring profession. A profession that brings about change to someone else’s life. That is my happiness. <3

This is my English essay, my homework. Thought of posting it here. Nobody cares anyway.

My name is Mary Ann Claudine M. Clavo. My family call me ‘Claudine’ while my friends call me ‘Clauds’. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t have another name or nickname because it’s my mother who gave me such a name that everybody remembers and love. I believe that my name is unique and will someday make a great difference in this world. I live at 432 Bldg. 4 Bliss Muntinlupa City but I’m currently staying in a dormitory in Dapitan, Sampaloc, Manila. I get to see my family every weekend so as to have bonding with them. My father’s name is Jong, my mother’s name is Sally and I also have this 1 year younger sweet brother, Kevin. The schools that I have attended before were Sophie Kiddie School (preschool), Mary Cause of Our Joy Catholic School (elementary) and Southernside Montessori School (highschool). Now that I am in college, I am studying at the Pontical and Royal Catholic University of Santo Tomas.

People usually see me wearing clothes in purple, black or yellow because those are my favorite colors, obviously. I am a simple girl but when it comes to food, I eat like a man but with decency. I indulge myself eating pasta, seafoods and meat. Yes, you can add eating as one of my hobbies but aside from that, I watch anime and Korean dramas and I am also game into texting, surfing the internet and chatting with my dearest friends.

I play badminton with my friends and I also love to go swimming and undergo training if given a chance or if I have time. I am not really fond of listening to different kinds of music but I do love it when I’m hearing old songs from old but classic artists. I really love watching movies and usually I go for the romantic and horror ones. Sometimes I enjoy watching movies with my dad because I also prefer action movies. Of all the movies I’ve watched, I have my top 3 best picks: Titanic, A Walk to Remember and Hachiko. My favorite ice cream flavors are Mango and Strawberry and eating it either in the living room or bedroom makes me feel better. When it comes to academics, my favorite professor is Dr. Jude Guiang. He was our professor in Anatomy and Physiology and he is one of the reasons why I wanted to pursue Medicine someday. I was so inspired on how he mastered the concepts in Anaphy and I wanted to be like him in the future.

“Do not be discouraged if your plans do not succeed at your first try… Just always remember: No one learned how to walk by taking only ONE step.” I believe in this saying and whatever failures or disappointments that I might encounter in the future, I will never lose hope and will just keep going. 5 to 10 years from now, I see myself as a registered nurse with a masteral degree major as an OR nurse and a licensed doctor or surgeon. I will be more elegant on the way I dress myself and will look like a beautiful professional. I will also make a family of my own - together with my soulmate or future husband, future children and with my parents and brother. I do not wish to live in a mansion with grandiose cars but as long as I live happily with the people I cherish and love, I am already contented and I have nothing more to ask for.

Totoo nga yung kasabihan na yan. Akala ko kasi before ginagamit lang yang quote na yan para mag-advice pero totoo talaga. Dahil 2nd year nako sa Nursing, may duty na kami and sa totoo lang kinakabahan talaga ako and I still lack the confidence kasi natatakot ako magkamali especially on duty. Sabi nga ng mga professors and clinical instructors ko, “You should be careful all the time. We are nurses and you are future nurses who will handle lives.” I feel like I’m still not yet ready with such responsibility. I don’t want to be pessimistic pero minsan talaga di ko mapigilan.

June 18, 2011. First ever duty ko yan. Our RLE group is assigned to UST OB ward. Clinical Division. Excited ako na kinakabahan. Kasi I do not know what to expect. Natatakot ako na baka di ako magustuhan ng pasyente and baka magkamali ako. Haaay. Pero grabe lang talaga. Adjustment period. Ang init sa ward, mas malamig pa nga sa labas eh. Tapos feeling ko ang liit ng working area lalo na kung pati mga doctors kasama mo sa ward. Nakakaintimidate yung feeling kase ikaw 2nd year palang. No cap. No name plate. ID lang tsaka bagong uniporme. So baguhan, kumpara dun sa mga 4th year na kasama namin. Tapos ang tagal-tagal mo pang nakatayo mygosh. NAKAKAPAGOD. Nung time na yun, naisip ko bigla, “Ito ba talaga ang gusto ko? Yung ganito? Nakakapagod lang talaga suko nako.” First day palang yun ha tapos ganun na. Feeling ko gusto ko na kagad makatapos tapos mag Medicine nako. Haaaaaay *sighs*

Pero di pa naman ako totally nawawalan ng loob. Naisip ko nalang baka talagang nag-aadjust ako sa mga challenges na’to. I thought I’m matured enough to face these kind of things pero di pa pala. AND first time ko palang naman eh, masasanay din ako sa magiging buhay ko sa hospital. Iniisip ko nalang, “Ganito talaga ang buhay medikal. At least mas worth it ‘to kase nakakapagligtas ka ng buhay ng ibang tao at naaalagaan mo sila.” That thought made me feel better.

June 23, 2011. Thursday to Saturday ang duty days namin pero kase may mga pagkakataon na di muna kami sa ward kasi may mga return demo pa kami. Supposed to be dapat ganun nga ang mangyayare sa araw na yan pero there are a change of plans. We went to the ward and ayun di ko alam kung bakit pero panatag yung pakiramdam ko. Parang di ako mashadong kinakabahan. Wala lang. As is lang. Pero di ko expect na magbibigay si Ms. Estrada ng pre-test. Kase ang alam ko si Ms. Pua eh. So aun. 25 items. Pretest ba yan? Eh ang alam ko pag ganyan karami post test na :)) 65% ang passing and failed ako. 13/25 lang eh </3 Ouch. Ito na ba ang hudyat na wala akong pag-asa para maging DL? OK sorry na grade-conscious much eh. Dapat DL ako last sem. Sayang. </3 Anyway, past is past. There are always a next time for everything :) 

So ayun, after ng quiz, checking of paraphernalia, uniform, basta lahat. Then discussion about postpartum. Masaya ako kase may mga bago nnman akong natutunan and maituturo ko narin sa aking magiging pasyente. I was the team leader that time and I know there ARE expectations so I did my job well. I hope so. Iniwan muna kami ng C.I. kasi mgbreak daw muna sha so we were left in the ward. Kaming RLE lang. So I am the one who’s responsible with my RLEmates. Aba mahirap yun ah. Kase sakin sila ngrerefer and pag may concerns sila at di ako sure of what I’ll be going to do, ako ang kumakausap sa staff nurse. Plus naghahanap ako ng charts, wala naman sa lalagyanan so kinausap ko yung doctor kung yun ba ung chart na hinahanap ko. KAPAL KO. Close kami? HAHA. Nakakahiya :> Di na bumalik yung C.I. namin kase she has some other business to attend to so ayun.

Masaya ako nung araw na yan kase feeling ko nagawa ko ng tama lahat ng mga bagay na dapat kong gawin. Nainterview ko ng mabuti yung inassign kong patient sa sarili ko and nakapag-health teaching ako. Natulungan ko rin yung ibang members ko on what they are going to do with their assigned patient kasi ngbbleed na sha. I also talked with the staff nurses and OB doctors like a real professional that’s why I feel like this will serve as my training ground to develop my communication skills. I endorsed our patients to the student nurses on next shift and I also felt that I gained friends along the way. Ang saya lang talaga ng feeling. Di ko maexplain. Di ko naramdaman yung pagod habang nasa ward kami. Actually naghahanap pa nga ako ng pwedeng gagawin kasi madali lang din natapos yung mga activities. Saka ko lang nfeel yung pagod nung lumabas na kami ng hospital kase gutom na gutom ako. HAHA. Ang saya talaga. Sana laging ganito yung feeling. Naisip ko naman ngayon, “Wow, thank you Lord for this day. Feeling ko nurse na nurse na ako. I hope and pray na nakatulong ako dun sa pasyenteng tinuruan ko.“ 

Ganito lang talaga ang buhay. I think this is my calling. To be a future nurse. And if time will permit and if there is a chance, I will become a future doctor. Pag masaya ka sa ginagawa mo, di mo mararamdaman ang pagod. 

Realizations.